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Elias’s healthy lifestyle seemed to dominate his life, not really leaving room for me: Dating Diaries


Muriel is a 31-year-old web designer who lives in Little Italy. She says, “I have a passion for thrifting and try to find unique items of clothing. I like to take chances with my outfits and try to push creative boundaries. I’m not afraid of texture or colour!” Her friends and family would describe her as “bubbly, funny, driven, trustworthy, genuine and confident.” Muriel says she likes to hike, shop for antiques, have movie marathons and spend quality time with her family. Muriel says, “I’ve been single for a while. Even in the midst of COVID-19, I’ve tried to continue to date safely.”

I don’t want to date the loudest or hottest guy in the room. I want the guy who is smart and has soft, quiet confidence. Family is very important to me and anyone I date should feel the same way. I am very much a “family first” person.

I even moved home for a few months during COVID-19 to spend more time with them. I am also looking for someone who is kind and reliable. But when you date online, none of these things come up at first. You have to start mostly with looks and go from there.

Elias was very masculine, had an amazing body, was tall and had gorgeous hair. I was very drawn to his profile! The content was very limited, but I got the sense that he was smart, so I messaged him.

We texted and talked over several days about books, family and our lives in Toronto. Elias was very into nutrition and exercise. I was really impressed by his healthy lifestyle. We had this in common. I’m not much of a drinker, and love yoga and swimming, so I related to that.

Elias asked me out on a date. There was just a simple and natural point in the conversation when he asked if I would like to meet to chat more in person. I immediately agreed. With COVID-19 still prevalent, we decided on a park date to be safe. COVID-19 has really changed dating: you’re pretty much limited to outdoor dining, parks and beaches, and taking walks. We decided on a park I had never been to before.

Leading up to the date, I was excited but, as we chatted more, I began to question our compatibility. The healthy lifestyle that I had initially really liked about Elias seemed to dominate his life while I am much more laid-back about my diet and exercise routine. Elias seemed extremely serious about his daily schedule, especially. A few times when we were in the midst of talking, Elias abruptly ended the conversation at a certain point because he wanted to stick to his schedule. I thought this was a little severe, at least when compared to my own attitude.

In person, Elias was extremely attractive with the added bonus that he smelled amazing. We sat on a blanket. Right away, I noticed that he wasn’t saying much. It seemed almost like it was an inconvenience for him to be on the date with me, or like he was playing the “cool guy” card. However, I could tell that Elias was extremely intelligent and thoughtful. He seemed deep. He did mention his diet and his exercise plan a few times. It was obviously an important part of his life.

All the while, while we were talking, I was drinking an alcoholic beverage, while Elias chose to drink carbonated water. I did find this a bit odd, only because I knew from our conversations that he regularly drank alcohol. He just said he didn’t feel like drinking that day. I wanted to be respectful of his choice not to drink, but it made me feel somewhat awkward to be drinking alone. This was also a first for me. I am usually the one on a date who isn’t drinking as much as the other person. I support everyone doing what is right for them, but for me it was another sign that Elias didn’t seem willing to indulge even for a “special” occasion. It’s a very impressive way to live, but it’s just not right for me.

We said goodbye without hugging because of COVID-19. Elias messaged me a few days later. I considered going out with him again, but ultimately I just didn’t see myself fitting into his life.

Muriel rates her date (out of 10): 4

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